Greetings from the Isle Of Self Pity Puzzle

A one-way trip to your own private island of feeling sorry for yourself!

Welcome to the Isle of Self Pity, the only vacation destination in the Sea of Wet Hot Tears where you can surf, catch some rays, and bask in the blinding narcissism of knowing that you have it worse than anyone who has ever lived on this wretched and cold-hearted planet.